


Touch

by purgatoan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Season/Series 11 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9000835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatoan/pseuds/purgatoan
Summary: Neither Dean nor Cas thought that simple touch would play such an important role in their lives.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posting from Tumblr, it's an oldie!

Touch is an important aspect of every human’s life. Mother embracing her newborn develops a bond with him which lasts forever in most cases. Actually, the whole world revolves around it and it’s amazing how essential it is.

Dean’s relationship with Cas started with a simple touch, too. It all began when angel gripped the hunter’s arm for the first time, rescuing him from hell. His handprint burned into Dean’s skin like a mark. The hunter thought that it was the creature’s way to claim him somehow and it scared the crap out of him. However, it turned out that Castiel wasn’t a monster at all. He was Dean’s savior.

And just like that, the bond between these two started to grow. Even though Cas wasn’t an ally of the Winchesters, he quickly became one, unable to bear the other angels manipulating Sam and Dean. 

Back then, touch was only a way of getting attention for these two. The hunter would grab angel’s arm to make him turn around. Castiel would put a hand on Dean’s mouth to make sure he won’t scream and will understand that he’s not a threat. It wasn’t different for Dean than touching other people, though, even if he thought it would be. 

There were times when this way of contact started to mean something else. Angel’s hand laid on hunter’s shoulder was a way of comforting the human, to say that everything was going to be okay when times were rough. And they always were, to be honest, so it became a routine. Some kind of a habit.

Other times, it would be a way of putting the hunter back together. Of repairing his cut flesh and broken bones. Of making Dean whole again.

Or the opposite.

Beating Dean up or pushing his back onto the wall happened too. But it always came back to square one. It was a trick used to gain the other one’s attention when nothing else worked. The last resort.

Sometimes, it would be Dean’s turn. To put a palm on Castiel’s shoulder, to let him know that he’s important. That he’s wanted. That he’s needed here. That he’s needed all the time. And the hunter thought the angel would understand the meaning behind these gestures.

It all changed when Castiel started plotting behind the Winchester’s back about opening the door to Purgatory. The angel was hesistant to stay close to the brothers. He was afraid that they would notice that something was off and confront him about it. Unfortunately, that was exacly what happened.

Dean was convinced that Castiel was telling the truth and he couldn’t believe when it turned out he wasn’t. It devastated him. He thought the angel considered him someone worth his trust and that he would never lie. What a disappointment it was to find out about Cas’s deal with Crowley. Didn’t he value their friendship? Their unique bond? From what Dean knew, no one was as close to any angel as he was to Castiel.

Hurt and angry. That’s how hunter felt then. But he couldn’t say no to Cas when he showed up at their door bruised, battered and weak. He wanted to shout at Cas for being such a dumb son of a bitch but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He just assured the angel that it was going to be okay and supported Cas when he almost fell to the floor.

And, again, Dean lost Cas. He thought that he was going crazy when he saw the angel as Emmanuel but it turned out it was true. He somehow survived and Dean ached to touch him, to hug him, to thank the destiny or God knows what for saving that angel, but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be appropriate.

Considering that Cas went a little crazy after curing Sam, Dean didn’t have a chance to get close to him again. He felt sorry every time he looked at the angel. Sorry for a lot of things, actually. He thought that it was his fault that Cas turned to Crowley for help. That maybe he’s missed something, some kind of a sign that he should’ve noticed and which would’ve showed him that the angel wanted their help. But it wasn’t true. It was simply Castiel’s choice to leave the hunter out of this.

When Dean landed in purgatory all he could think about was saving the angel. He could’ve left that place but he wanted to save Cas. To make him understand that he was important to the hunter yet again, even if it meant that he wouldn’t see Sam soon. Once he finally found Castiel, he couldn’t help but throw his arms around the angel and hug him tightly. It just happened naturally, like it was always this way between them.

And here they were again, like nothing ever changed. Simple touches. An arm on the shoulder. A pat on the back. Holding hands. And it was over. Yet again.

It seemed like every time they got closer, something pulled them apart.

Then, Cas showed up again. Dirty, messy, tired. And the hunter had no idea how he got out. They didn’t know how it was possible but, somehow, Cas was with Dean again. But something didn’t add up. Something was wrong.

When Castiel’s fist collided with hunter’s jaw, Dean was sure that it wasn’t Cas who was doing all of this. In desperation, he tried to convince angel to stop but, again, the only thing that worked was touch. He gripped firmly onto Castiel’s arm, the kind of a grip that could break human’s bones, and he prayed for it to work.

And it did.

It broke the connection between the angel and Naomi. Once again, it’s power surprised everyone. How could simple touch be so mighty?

Then, they driffted apart again but, this time, it was the hunter’s decision. He had to do this. He had no other choice.

And he couldn’t believe when he saw Castiel actually dead. He had to check the wounds, to see for himself if it was true. And he couldn’t just let it be. He had to save him. And he did.

And when he got to see Castiel’s alive again, his eyes lit up like christmas lights. And when he could finally tell him what was wrong, well, it was one of the most relieving moments in his life.

Yet again, touch started to mean more.

Reassurance. Comfort. A way of communication. Silent but effective.

It was possible to express everything with it. Joy when they saw each other after a long time. Fear when one of them was in danger.

And it worked when everything else failed. When Castiel’s begging was not enough. When nothing could control Dean being under the influene of the Mark.

And it stayed that way.

Until, someday, something was off. Just like many times before. Dean thought about it and couldn’t figure it out but he finally understood. Touch. The wrong shoulder. The wrong side.

But maybe it was just a little change? Maybe he shouldn’t worry about it?

It turned out he was right. It wasn’t Cas.

And when he got to look into Cas’s eyes, just before Lucifer took over control of the vessel, he got one wish.

He wished he could be closer. He wished he could be inside the circle. He believed that simple touch would bring his angel back.


End file.
